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1.) grandpawrichard - 04/15/2015
Of Salmon Fishing, Eating and Dentists:

Last Wednesday a friend and I went out salmon fishing on the Skagit River in my boat. Fishing was awesome and so was the weather.

I had some great luck hooking, fighting and landing fish. I caught three Chinook Salmon that weighed in at 6 pounds, 17 Ĺ pounds, and a 27 pounds. Sadly, the Chinook salmon season is over for the year, but at least I got to land them and then release them back into the river.

We were actually fishing for Pink salmon. We found them too! I limited out with 4 fish before my friend did. The pinks were running in weights of 3 to 7 pounds.

We have always had a running bet in my boat that the last person to limit out has to buy a celebration meal. He gets to decide where the meal is and what we get to order. Well, my buddy knows of a local tavern that has some of the best chili, pickled eggs, hot spicy kielbasa sausage and beer in the valley. He chose the lunch spot and meal.

I have to tell you, that chili is Fantastic! It comes topped with my favorite Extra Sharp Cheddar Cheese and a huge pile of Walla Walla sweet onions on top of it. Yummy! The tavern also makes their own pickled eggs and hot, spicy kielbasa sausage that are to die for. Extremely yummy!

For the first time in over 30 years, I broke down and drank a cold beer with my meal. Normally I do not drink anything but coffee, but I was celebrating a great day of catching fish and also I was pretty thirsty from sitting in a boat out in the hot sun. So, I broke with the norm and drank a frosty one.

On Thursday I had a Dentist appointment in Bellingham, so there was no going fishing early in the morning. This dentist appointment almost became a disaster!

As I sat there in the dentist chair, my meal of chili, pickled eggs, Hot Spicy sausage and beer came back to haunt me and let me know that I was going to be Uncomfortable! My belly started to rumble and bloat up. I was quickly becoming uncomfortable and it was increasingly more evident that some gaseous vapors were going to erupt.

As I sat there with the dentist drilling on my tooth, I clenched my butt cheeks tighter and tighter to keep from allowing the terrible odors to escape. Thatís when it happened! The dentist hit a nerve in my tooth. The pain hit me, my mind shifted to the tooth pain and away from my butt cheeks.

Accidentally I let an odiferous fart escape. The smell was Absolutely Terrible! It smelled like decomposing garbage on a hot August day at a huge garbage dump. The dentist gasped a deep breath and backed up with eyes watering! He quickly made gagging sounds and hastily exited the room!

Thatís when the humor of the whole episode hit me! I got laughing and with every laugh came a fart and foul smell! In fact, it got so bad that patients and dentist from the rooms nearby had to go out to the main waiting room to catch their breath!

Soon, the laughing and farting symphony emptied my belly of all the backed up gas, so I felt quite a bit better. I opened all the windows in the dentistsí office to remove the stench. Finally the dentist came back to finish the job on my tooth, even though the Novocain had started to wear off on me. He wasnít about to take the chance on me, or any further delays, he wanted me Finished and Out Of There!

Thankfully, that was my last tooth that needed to be filled, so it will be quite a while before I have to go back to him. Hopefully by then he will have forgotten all about what had transpired!

So my friends, there is a lesson to be learned here! Never, Ever eat pickled eggs, pickled kielbasa, and chili smothered in onions! Also, Do Not Wash the previous items down with beer if you have a Dentist appointment the next day! The results can be embarrassing!

Richard M. (Dick) Raymond Jr.

Copyright 8/29/09 by Richard M. (Dick) Raymond Jr.
2.) Swamp Fox - 04/15/2015
[QUOTE=grandpawrichard;31193]... so it will be quite a while before I have to go back to him. Hopefully by then he will have forgotten all about what had transpired!


"Was that before or after the Goldberg fart?"



Don't count on anyone forgetting! :wink
3.) Wild Bob - 05/07/2015

What a great story...sounds like something that would happen to me!
4.) Deerminator - 05/07/2015