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1.) grandpawrichard - 07/06/2015
The Great Baby Rattle Fiasco of 2015

I found out yesterday that a friend of mine was just told that she is going to be a Great Grandmother in a few months. She is so excited about the news and just tickled pink.

Today I was sitting outside in the shade trying to beat the heat and also bored because I had nothing to do, especially because it is so hot. Well, as I sat there thinking of something to do, I got thinking of the "Great Grandma to be. I decided to make something for her to give to the baby when it is born.

An idea popped into my head to make a Baby Rattle for the little tike. Ideas flooded through my pea brain and as they filtered and settled into the "Great Empty Space" between my ears an idea hit me.

Why not make a cute little Baby Rattle? I have an ample supply of some really nice wood scraps and a generous supply of Baltic Birch Plywood. So, I went into the shop, picked out the wood I wanted to make the project.

I then laid out my design and proceeded to cut it out. When the main work was done I need to find something inside to make the rattle sound. I tried plastic bb's for an airsoft gun. The made a slight rattle sound. No Good.

So next I tried copper coated bb's and I was not impressed with the sound they made. So it was back to the drawing board. That is when the brain storm hit. Why not use small wooden beads? I should have some of them from when I used to make toys.

Well, my supply consisted of 1" to 1 1/2" sized balls. Too darned big! Looks like a trip to Hobby Lobby. Nope, it's Sunday and they are closed! So, off to Michael's craft store I go.

When I got to Michael's I searched for the wooden balls. All I could find was balls as big as the ones I had in my shop. Too Darned big! I also wanted some small sized ones that I could put on a wooden dowel handle. Those balls I want to be able to slide a small amount and to spin, so that they will make noise for the baby too.

After much searching I had to resort to asking a clerk about the products. So, I approached a pretty, young blonde clerk. I politely said "excuse me miss." She turned, smiled and said "yes Sir, how may I help you?"

I quickly asked her if they carried smaller, painted wooden beads for a craft product. She pointed to the wooden balls that I had just looked at and said "as far as I know, these are the only balls I know of in the store."

I told her that they were not what I needed as they were too big. I need smaller size and if possible, painted ones." She said "sorry, but those are the only ones I know of." Then she asked what I needed them for?
I told her "I need them to make a Baby Rattle." The most blank and stupid expression came over her face. Then from the blank stare came those fateful words; "How do you make a baby rattle?"

Without missing a beat, I looked right at her and said "You take a handful of these wooden beads, stuff them into the baby's mouth and then you shake the baby really hard. That makes them go Rattle, Rattle. Rattle, Rattle!"

The expression on her face was Totally Priceless! He eyes got as big as dinner plates and her mouth dropped almost to the floor! With that I turned and walked away to search the store for the balls I need.

Minutes later I found a huge bag of assorted, painted wooden balls in exactly the sizes I need. So, I picked up a bag, walked back to where she was working and showed her the bag. I also told her right where I found them.

I told her what a baby rattle was and I promised to bring in the finished project so she could see it first hand. It's a sad state of affairs when young people don't know what a simple thing like a baby rattle is!

After I got home I found that all of my Carpenter Wood Glue had dried up. So I had to go over to Brad and Gina's house next door to borrow the glue to finish the project. I also told them exactly what I have written here.

Gina got laughing and told me "Dad, someday, someone is going to call Child Protective Services on you when you say something like that!"

We all had a good laugh, and No Babies Were Harmed during this Fiasco!

Richard M. (Dick) Raymond Jr.

Story Written and Copyright July, 5. 2015
2.) Wild Bob - 07/06/2015
3.) Swamp Fox - 07/06/2015

I told her what a baby rattle was and I promised to bring in the finished project so she could see it first hand. It's a sad state of affairs when young people don't know what a simple thing like a baby rattle is!


They need an app for that!
4.) Deerminator - 07/06/2015
5.) Hunter - 07/07/2015
A body cam would have been a priceless accessory for that conversation, Dick!