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1.) Swamp Fox - 05/18/2018
[QUOTE=crookedeye;55991].......[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;55986]......[/QUOTE]



[B]Ask all your questions here, and we'll get back to you. [/B]



Also, if you have tips of your own, don't be nervous. No one is reading this, and the chances of you losing your job because of something you say here are microscopial.
2.) bluecat - 05/18/2018
Love makes bass boats go away.
3.) Swamp Fox - 05/18/2018
LOL ...


That was a surprisingly quick response from the audience.

My girlfriend said it could take days for this to take off, if it ever did.

But what does she know ... She's doing some modeling in Canada right now or I'd put her on.
4.) bluecat - 05/18/2018
Right...

Lol
5.) bluecat - 05/18/2018
CrookedEye called us all out as being just a bunch of women.
6.) bluecat - 05/18/2018
I'll have you know, I bring a wealth of knowledge to this forum - Mango wine, fatties, and how bout the vagina dialogues?
7.) bluecat - 05/18/2018
Maybe you should take a few phone calls. I'll hang up and listen.
8.) DParker - 05/18/2018
What's up with Grape Nuts? They're neither grapes nor nuts.

I'll hang up now and take my answer off the air.
9.) bluecat - 05/18/2018
I was all set to lop a turkeys head off, but no takers.
10.) Swamp Fox - 05/18/2018
[QUOTE=bluecat;56009]Maybe you should take a few phone calls. I'll hang up and listen.[/QUOTE]


It's probably too late to help anybody tonight, but the phones are always open ...



I mean, really,,, If you need to talk to me at 10 PM and can't wait til the morning, you're probably already in over your head and you'd better have some breakfast food in the house ...
11.) bluecat - 05/18/2018
I do have one question for Swampy. When you are in your crib getting busy with the ladies, do the cats ever get in the way?
12.) bluecat - 05/18/2018
Is Cap'n Crunch really a captain or is that an honorary position?
13.) Swamp Fox - 05/18/2018
I don't know ... I've only had the cats about nine or ten years.
14.) bluecat - 05/18/2018
At what point do you find out their political proclivities? After?
15.) Swamp Fox - 05/18/2018
[QUOTE=bluecat;56014]Is Cap'n Crunch really a captain or is that an honorary position?[/QUOTE]


Nope ... Real cap'n ....It's that Quisp character you can't take seriously. Absolutley not a real astronaut.
16.) bluecat - 05/18/2018
I think Quisp was a little light in his loafers.
17.) Swamp Fox - 05/18/2018
[QUOTE=bluecat;56016]At what point do you find out their political proclivities? After?[/QUOTE]


It doesn't take long, if you're observant.

My cats are mostly libertarians, but I do have one conservative.
18.) bluecat - 05/18/2018
Let me guess, the conservative gets up at first light and begins hunting for food. Then grooms regularly. Then attempts to help the libertarians who sleep all day and are grossed out by mice.
19.) bluecat - 05/18/2018
You know Li'l Miss bluecat is a staunch conservative and is trying to make Swampy's back yard great again.
20.) bluecat - 05/18/2018
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;56019]It doesn't take long, if you're observant.

My cats are mostly libertarians, but I do have one conservative.[/QUOTE]

Showing off your hunting and fishing gear could be a deal breaker.
21.) bluecat - 05/18/2018
Less talk and more hot tub.
22.) Swamp Fox - 05/18/2018
Yeah, but even the conservative won't pass up free Friskies if you're handing them out.

Also, the libertarians are surprisingly anti-mole. So much for tolerance and live-and-let-live.
23.) Swamp Fox - 05/18/2018
[QUOTE=bluecat;56022]Showing off your hunting and fishing gear could be a deal breaker.[/QUOTE]



"So, you seem interesting... What do you do?"

"You mean in life?"
24.) bluecat - 05/18/2018
Moles lives matter.
25.) bluecat - 05/18/2018
Lol...
26.) bluecat - 05/18/2018
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;56025]"So, you seem interesting... What do you do?"

"You mean in life?"[/QUOTE]
Lol...
27.) DParker - 05/18/2018
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;56017]Nope ... Real cap'n ....It's that Quisp character you can't take seriously. Absolutley not a real astronaut.[/QUOTE]

Oh, sure. Next you'll be telling us that Count Chocula isn't undead Wallachian nobility.
28.) bluecat - 05/18/2018
I don't like where this is going. Tony the Tiger is real, damnit.
29.) DParker - 05/18/2018
[QUOTE=bluecat;56030]I don't like where this is going. Tony the Tiger is real, damnit.[/QUOTE]

You mean, real....GRRRRRRRRRREAT!!!!! Right?
30.) bluecat - 05/18/2018
Swampy, you know that little guy that is forever concerned about his fortunate jewelry?
31.) Swamp Fox - 05/18/2018
Know him? He owes me money, the little faerie ...
32.) crookedeye - 05/18/2018
....
33.) crookedeye - 05/18/2018
that was one hell of an artist/singer..
34.) crookedeye - 05/18/2018
....
35.) crookedeye - 05/19/2018
.....
36.) Swamp Fox - 05/19/2018
Official Theme Song Of This Thread?





37.) Swamp Fox - 05/19/2018
38.) Swamp Fox - 05/19/2018
....
39.) crookedeye - 05/19/2018
....
40.) DParker - 05/20/2018
[video=youtube;v0BdteB7HNs]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0BdteB7HNs[/video]

Now I want étouffée.
41.) Swamp Fox - 05/21/2018
Naw... But I bet CrOokEdEyE could get some Dixie Chicken.... And then he could work on the jambalaya ...



42.) Swamp Fox - 05/21/2018
[QUOTE=crookedeye;56038]....[/QUOTE]



:-):wink:grin::tu::wave::ach::beer:
43.) Swamp Fox - 05/22/2018
I thought there would be more questions on this thread.

Between us, CE and I have almost 100 years of relationship experience.

It would be a shame to waste it ...


One question I get all the time is what are the best magic tricks to use to meet women in the grocery store...
44.) DParker - 05/22/2018
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;56049]I thought there would be more questions on this thread.[/quote]

My Grape Nuts question was never addressed, so I just assumed you were backlogged and I held off asking anything else.

[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;56049]One question I get all the time is what are the best magic tricks to use to meet women in the grocery store...[/QUOTE]

I was going to suggest the "Disappearing cash, hopes and dreams" trick, but now that I remember it....that one actually comes into play later on.
45.) bluecat - 05/22/2018
Lurking in the produce aisle and producing two melons is always a crowd pleaser. Get victim to hold them and then say "nice melons". It will keel. :)
46.) bluecat - 05/22/2018
Only the male grape has nuts.
47.) DParker - 05/23/2018
[QUOTE=bluecat;56051]Lurking in the produce aisle and producing two melons is always a crowd pleaser. Get victim to hold them and then say "nice melons". It will keel. :)[/QUOTE]

48.) DParker - 05/25/2018
Class. Claaaaass. Cla....WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you.
49.) crookedeye - 05/28/2018
i like the under armour compression shirts.. not only do i look good in them, but they wick moisture..
50.) crookedeye - 05/28/2018
[url]https://youtu.be/hDkvwbQwtyo//////[/url]
51.) crookedeye - 05/29/2018
[url]https://youtu.be/CnI_LuCJ4Ek[/url]......
52.) Swamp Fox - 08/15/2021
[QUOTE=crookedeye;56055]i like the under armour compression shirts.. not only do i look good in them, but they wick moisture..[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=crookedeye;56056][url]https://youtu.be/hDkvwbQwtyo//////[/url][/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=crookedeye;56057][url]https://youtu.be/CnI_LuCJ4Ek[/url]......[/QUOTE]



Belated :applause::applause::applause:

I mised this ... You know what I mean ...
53.) Swamp Fox - 09/04/2021
I can't believe this doesn't have more views .... LOL
54.) Swamp Fox - 09/04/2021
963 viewers now, 17 hours later ... But no replies ...

I will check my deodorant ...


CE?
55.) Swamp Fox - 09/04/2021
970 ....
56.) Swamp Fox - 09/04/2021
I've got five raccoons up in one tree overlooking the Friskies right now ...


That's the equivalent of 250 lurkers here, I reckon, based on history and observation.

So you figure with nearly 1000 lurkers right now, I prolly have 20 coons in my woods interested in stealing some delicious cat food tonight...

That's a lot of gumbo, or at least a lot of pellet pistol shootin', flashlight wavin', and firecracker throwin' ..

I hope I did the math right ....
57.) crookedeye - 09/05/2021
how bout those huskers!!!
58.) crookedeye - 09/05/2021
i wonder how Bullzi season going?.. you do no his season ends while ares is just begining
59.) Swamp Fox - 09/05/2021
Fordham? Really?

Even the Jesuits admit forthrightly that Fordham is 50 years past its prime, even in NYC.

Why don't y'all play St. Elizabeth's School For The Blind, or maybe Creighton?
60.) Swamp Fox - 09/05/2021
[QUOTE=crookedeye;64616]i wonder how Bullzi season going?.. you do no his season ends while ares is just begining[/QUOTE]

You no BZ killed two bears by strangulation, but Lisa got three by deception ...
61.) crookedeye - 09/05/2021
5 national championships.. dont be a hater. cause youre gamecocks dont compete..heading out next weekend and a coulple days..fishing hunting and loving everyday..
62.) crookedeye - 09/05/2021
this is the year i get my bacon jalopeno dove wrap
63.) crookedeye - 09/05/2021
.....
64.) Swamp Fox - 09/05/2021
They sell frozen quail in a box at the Harris Teeter here if you skunk ..... But I don't know if you have an app for that ...


Haven't seen anything for dove hunters ....



LOL ...
65.) Swamp Fox - 09/05/2021
Weather is spectacular here for early Sept. .. Doves should fly well this week... The guy in Louisiana that got eaten by the alligator during Ida is throwing nice cool vibes our way ...

So we have that going for us, which is nice .....
66.) Swamp Fox - 09/05/2021
[QUOTE=crookedeye;64619]5 national championships.. dont be a hater. cause youre gamecocks dont compete..heading out next weekend and a coulple days..fishing hunting and loving everyday..[/QUOTE]

LOL ... :wave: Maybe I'll look for a Fordham "Seven Blocks Of Granite" revival ...
67.) crookedeye - 09/05/2021
5..... i bet you cant even count that high on 1 hand
68.) crookedeye - 09/05/2021
bitch...lol
69.) crookedeye - 09/06/2021
do any of you 3... since im the 4th no a good outfitter in nebraska for antelope?
70.) Swamp Fox - 09/07/2021
No, "You're Number One" based on involuntary hand gestures I'm experiencing down here...

LOL


Shoot me a PM if you're thinking about NW Nebraska.

Have you ruled out a DIY hunt on either public or private land?
71.) bluecat - 09/07/2021
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;64617]Fordham? Really?

[/QUOTE]

lol...
72.) bluecat - 09/07/2021
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;64624]LOL ... :wave: Maybe I'll look for a Fordham "Seven Blocks Of Granite" revival ...[/QUOTE]

I had to look that up to see what you were talking about. The heaviest piece of granite was 205 lbs.

The Kansas front line is nicknamed "the sieve".
73.) Swamp Fox - 09/08/2021
Is it at least a steel sieve, like Joe Biden's brain on his best day?
74.) Swamp Fox - 09/08/2021
[QUOTE=bluecat;64630]I had to look that up to see what you were talking about. The heaviest piece of granite was 205 lbs.[/QUOTE]

[url]https://www.cfbhall.com/about/blog/the-seven-blocks-of-granite/[/url]



75.) bluecat - 09/08/2021
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;64631]Is it at least a steel sieve, like Joe Biden's brain on his best day?[/QUOTE]

He has a brain?
76.) Swamp Fox - 09/08/2021
Yes, but he married into it ...
77.) Swamp Fox - 09/08/2021
[QUOTE=crookedeye;56038]....[/QUOTE]


I want to know which video this is, which I applauded so vigorously several years ago ... I can quote the applause, but not the video ... LOL
78.) Swamp Fox - 09/08/2021
It occurs to me that despite the wisdom here so far, we have not gotten many questions ...

79.) bluecat - 09/08/2021
I think most people have given up trying to find answers to love Swampy.

To quote the kids, "It is what it is."


btw, your video is "unavailable"
80.) bluecat - 09/08/2021
I did come across this horror clip though.

81.) DParker - 09/08/2021
Oooooooh....scary....
82.) bluecat - 09/08/2021
The pancakes or the syrup or just in general?
83.) DParker - 09/08/2021
The whole thing. Canadians freak me out.
84.) bluecat - 09/08/2021
A man was riding his Harley along a California highway...

suddenly the sky cleared above his head and in a booming voice, the Lord said: 'Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'

The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.'

The Lord said, 'Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific, and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.'

The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy.'

The Lord replied, 'You want two lanes or four lanes on that bridge?'
85.) DParker - 09/08/2021
Old jokes are best jokes.
86.) bluecat - 09/08/2021
Moses and God walk into this bar...
87.) Swamp Fox - 09/08/2021
[QUOTE=bluecat;64644]Moses and God walk into this bar...[/QUOTE]

Two Irishmen walk out of a bar ....







No, seriously ...
88.) Swamp Fox - 09/09/2021
[QUOTE=bluecat;64637]I think most people have given up trying to find answers to love Swampy.

[/QUOTE]


Well... What if we thought of the word "love" as a euphemism? ...


89.) bluecat - 09/09/2021
"What's love got to do with it?"
90.) Swamp Fox - 09/09/2021
Excellent question ....
91.) DParker - 09/09/2021
[QUOTE=bluecat;64647]"What's love got to do with it?"[/QUOTE]

I don't know, but we sure as hell don't need another hero.
92.) bluecat - 09/09/2021
We don't need to know the way home either.
93.) DParker - 09/09/2021
Tina's character was one of the best parts of [I]Tommy[/I]...save for Ann-Margret, who is the best part of pretty much everything.

[video=youtube;vdinfZKA_Fw]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdinfZKA_Fw[/video]
94.) Swamp Fox - 09/10/2021
[QUOTE=DParker;64643]Old jokes are best jokes.[/QUOTE]

Ed Zern does a masterful take on this sentiment in his collection [I]The Best of Ed Zern.[/I]

I just lost power and my literate and engaging exposition on that got zapped and I don't know if I will try again.

However, it did involve a saga from prior to the 13th century involving a Norse king, which might be mirrored by a "modern" tale from the Canadian maritime provinces. Was Lief Ericson involved? We don't know...

Also, there is the question of the column's wind-up, which involves a more recent (?) old joke.

It seems a doctor famously unlucky at betting wagered he could cross the ice of Moose Bay in February without falling in. When they fished his body out the following spring, it was full of eels.

[QUOTE][I]"... and they sent a telegram to his wife that said ---"

"Never mind," I said, " I know that one from away back," and Charley said, "Okay, let's go fishing." Which we did.
[/I]

[/QUOTE]


Who knows the old joke about the eels? :-) :pop:
95.) DParker - 09/10/2021
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;64652]When they fished his body out the following spring, it was full of eels.[/QUOTE]

What about his hovercraft?

96.) Swamp Fox - 09/11/2021
I'm not sure about that, but my nipples explode with delight!


+8