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1.) Swamp Fox - 03/11/2019
March 11

The Goths lay siege to Rome.\t

A Confederate Convention is held in Montgomery, Ala., where the new constitution is adopted.

A disastrous blizzard hits the northeastern United States. Some 400 people die, mainly from exposure.

But also from a sense of invincibility.

No one can drive on ice, BTW ... Just sayin' ...
2.) The Old Man2 - 03/13/2019
March 13th 1781 Uranus is discovered

German-born British astronomer William Herschel is credited with the planet's discovery. It is the third largest planet by radius in the solar system.
3.) bluecat - 03/14/2019
[QUOTE=The Old Man2;57898]March 13th 1781 Uranus is discovered

German-born British astronomer William Herschel is credited with the planet's discovery. It is the third largest planet by radius in the solar system.[/QUOTE]

...which gave rise to a whole host of jokes.
4.) Swamp Fox - 03/14/2019
"> ...,,
5.) Swamp Fox - 03/14/2019
[QUOTE=The Old Man2;57898]March 13th 1781 Uranus is discovered

German-born British astronomer William Herschel is credited with the planet's discovery. It is the third largest planet by radius in the solar system.[/QUOTE]

If Uranus is ever developed, local dingleberries will host a ribbon-cutting and gold-shovel ground-breaking for the Herschel Highway.
6.) DParker - 03/14/2019
And don't even get me started about the U.S.S. Enterprise constantly circling Uranus in search of Klingons.
7.) bluecat - 03/15/2019
Most of the jokes surrounding Uranus are crappy.
8.) Swamp Fox - 03/16/2019
Most of them could use more fiber so they wouldn't be so strained ...
9.) Swamp Fox - 03/16/2019
March 15

Julius Caesar is assassinated by high-ranking Roman Senators.

Henry the Fowler routs the raiding Magyars at Merseburg, Germany.

General John Hunt Morgan begins four days of raids near the city of Gallatin, Tenn.

The Red River Campaign begins as the Union forces reach Alexandria, La.

Bone Mizell, the famed cowboy of Florida, appears before a judge for altering cattle brands.

The British complete the conquest of Nigeria.

Three hundred Russians are killed as the Japanese shell Port Arthur in Korea.

General John Pershing and his 15,000 troops chase Pancho Villa into Mexico.

Joseph Goebbels, German Minister of Propaganda bans four Berlin newspapers.

Germany occupies Bohemia and Moravia, Czechoslovakia.

Cassino, Italy is destroyed by Allied bombing.

Almost four years after the end of World War II, clothes rationing in Great Britain ends.

French General de Lattre demands that Paris send him more troops for the fight in Indochina.

The U.S. Air Force unveils the first self-guided missile.

Four Los Angeles police are charged in the beating of Rodney King.[/QUOTE]

As Julius Caesar famously said, "Can't we all just get along?"

I have forgotten the exact Latin for what he said, so that's just a rough translation ...

I remember getting this right on a quiz, though.

10.) Swamp Fox - 03/16/2019
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;57901]If Uranus is ever developed, local dingleberries will host a ribbon-cutting and gold-shovel ground-breaking for the Herschel Highway.[/QUOTE]

In hindsight, I feel like that if I'd spelled it "dignelberries", more people would have gotten more layers of the joke and I could have scored at least a +7 ...

Just sayin' ...

11.) Swamp Fox - 04/22/2019
April 21:

German fighter ace Baron von Richthofen, "The Red Baron," is shot down and killed.



The funeral of Manfred von Richthofen. April 22, 1918, No.3 Squadron lays to rest an old adversary, at Bertangles Cemetery, France.

Manfred von Richthofen was laid to rest late in the afternoon of April 22 in a small, unkempt cemetery in Bertangles. He was buried with full military honors after a short service by an Anglican chaplain. Twelve men from No. 3 Squadron, Australian Flying Corps, each fired three rounds into the air. Other officers placed wreaths on the grave. The body was set with feet facing the marker, a four-bladed propeller trimmed to form a cross. Upset about a German being buried in their cemetery, the villagers descended on the grave that night, uprooted the marker and tried to dig up the body.

That same evening, RAF pilots dropped canisters containing news of Richthofen’s death and pictures of his funeral over Jagdgeschwader I, confirming the fears of the German officers there. Oberleutnant Wilhelm Reinhard succeeded Richthofen as commander of JG.I, as per Richthofen’s wishes, but he only lasted two months; Oberleutnant Hermann Wilhelm Goring assumed command after Reinhard’s death.

Richthofen’s body was moved after the war to a larger cemetery at Fricourt. His brother Karl Bolko had his body moved again in 1925, this time to Berlin, where, in a large state funeral with thousands in the procession, he was buried at Fnvaliden Cemetery. A modest flat memorial stone was unveiled the following year by his mother. Goring added a monument in 1938. All the Red Baron’s war trophies, an impressive collection kept at his home, were lost when the Russians advanced through Schweidnitz near the end of World War II.[/QUOTE]
12.) Swamp Fox - 04/27/2019
April 22 ----- A lot goin' on:

Henry VIII ascends to the throne of England upon the death of his father, Henry VII.

Spain and Portugal divide the eastern hemisphere in the Treaty of Saragossa.

Robert E. Lee is named commander of Virginia forces.

The Oklahoma land rush officially starts at noon as thousands of Americans race for new, unclaimed land.

In the first action of the Spanish-American War, the USS Nashville, takes on a Spanish ship.

At the Second Battle of Ypres, the Germans use poison gas for the first time.

British naval forces attempt to sink block-ships in the German U-boat bases at the Battle of Zeebrugge.

Allies launch major attack against the Japanese in Hollandia, New Guinea.

The Senate Army-McCarthy hearings begin. They are broadcast on television.

Congress orders all U.S. coins to bear the motto "In God We Trust."

Barbara Walters becomes the first female nightly news anchor on network television.

In Africa, Rwandan troops kill thousands of Hutu refugees in Kibeho.


After all that, today was relatively quiet, but I'm not gonna comment further ... LOL:

April 26

Joseph E. Johnston surrenders the Army of Tennessee to General William T. Sherman.

New York Yankee Lou Gehrig hits a home run but is called out for passing a runner, the mistake ultimately costs him the home run record.
13.) Swamp Fox - 05/11/2019
May 10 ...


Don't make me school y'all in the origin of Memorial Day ...
14.) Swamp Fox - 05/11/2019
=May 11, 1864
Confederate General J.E.B. Stuart is mortally wounded at Yellow Tavern.

J.E.B. Stuart: Battle of Gettysburg Scapegoat[/B]

The guns had scarcely fallen silent at Gettysburg before the questions and recriminations began. Disappointed Southerners refused to believe that the infallible Robert E. Lee could lose a battle, particularly one as vital as Gettysburg. Someone else must be to blame. Even after Lee himself had said (with much reason), ‘It is all my fault, supporters inside and outside the Army began looking about for a convenient scapegoat. They quickly found one in the outsized personality of Major General J.E.B. Stuart, Lee’s flamboyant cavalry chief.


With Lee’s and Longstreet’s rather vague advice in hand, Stuart turned to his most trusted scout, John Singleton Mosby, for information on the best route to take into Pennsylvania. Mosby, who would later find fame as the commanding colonel of an effective independent cavalry unit in northern Virginia, Mosby’s Rangers, was still serving on Stuart’s personal staff. He rode into headquarters on June 23 with word that Stuart could pass safely around the rear of Hooker’s widely dispersed army in western Maryland en route to Pennsylvania. Hooker, said Mosby, was lying idle along a 25-mile-long line from Leesburg, Va., to Thoroughfare Gap, just west of Haymarket, and the Federal line was stretched so thin that Stuart could simply ride through it. It was a dangerously overoptimistic assessment of the military situation, based on the assumption that the Federals would simply sit still and wait for events to overtake them. But Stuart trusted Mosby implicitly and was, at any rate, always ready to accept information that conformed to his own expectations.


Criticism of Stuart, which began as a murmur among Lee’s personal staff, soon exploded onto the front pages of prominent Southern newspapers, which were read by both private citizens and high-ranking members of the Confederate government. At issue was Stuart’s supposed failure to provide Lee with crucial information about the enemy’s troop movements in the days leading up to Gettysburg. This lack of accurate intelligence, it was said, had caused Lee to blunder into a battle he did not seek, on ground he did not choose. It was all Stuart’s fault, for going off on an ill-advised raid around the Union army when Lee needed him close at hand. Contrary to popular belief, however, Stuart had followed Lee’s orders strictly, if not perhaps totally, and he was innocent of the harshest accusations made against him. In no way did Stuart’s raid deprive Lee of the cavalry needed to monitor his opponent’s movements, only of the officers skilled enough to do so successfully.Stuart, based on the directions given him, did everything that could have been expected of him. Typically, raids on enemy communications are only a nuisance and rarely cause any real damage. Still, in carrying out the raid, Stuart followed his orders to the letter. Given no real timetable, he moved quickly, doing what damage he could, and brought in much-needed provisions for the army. Expecting to meet Ewell’s corps at the Susquehanna River, Stuart chose the best available route. All the same, he lost valuable time by lugging with him the captured wagon train and prisoners, which gave the Union cavalry time to intercept him at Hanover, Pa., causing Stuart to lose an extra day.

In the end, there was blame enough for all. Lee and Longstreet should have given better instructions. Stuart should have left behind better officers than Jones and Robertson, who, in turn, should have better carried out their clearly stated orders. Mosby should have given Stuart better scouting information. Ewell should have made more of an effort to find Stuart and come to his aid at Hanover. All could have joined Lee in groaning, after Gettysburg, Too bad! Too bad! Oh, too bad!



15.) Swamp Fox - 05/13/2019
"There goes the neighborhood ..."

[QUOTE]May 12:

Charleston, South Carolina falls to British forces.

With a victory at the Battle of Raymond, Mississippi, Union General Ulysses S. Grant closes in on Vicksburg.

Union General Benjamin Butler attacks Drewry's Bluff on the James River.

The last land battle of the Civil war occurs at Palmito Ranch, Texas. It is a Confederate victory.

May 13:

English colonists land near the James River in Virginia.

The War of Bavarian Succession ends.

The United States declares war on Mexico after fighting has already begun.

Britain declares its neutrality in the American Civil War.

The Battle of Resaca commences as Union General William T. Sherman fights towards Atlanta.

Slavery is abolished in Brazil.

The Royal Flying Corps is established in England.

Allied forces in Italy break through the German Gustav Line into the Liri Valley.

French troops take control of Algiers.

Peace talks between the United States and North Vietnam begin in Paris.

16.) Swamp Fox - 05/27/2019
Germanicus of Rome celebrates his victory over the Germans.

A new law bans Catholic priests from the colony of Massachusetts. The penalty is banishment or death for a second offense.

Jacob Leisler, leader of the popular uprising in support of William and Mary's succession to the throne, is executed for treason.

The last Confederate army surrenders in Shreveport, Louisiana.

The House Committee on Un-American Activities begins its work of searching for subversives in the United States.

The evacuation of Allied forces from Dunkirk begins.

A patent is filed in the United States for the H-bomb.

Apollo 10 returns to Earth.

The movie Star Wars debuts.

Bart Starr, Minnesota Vikings/Dallas Cowboys legend, passes away after a long illness.


17.) DParker - 05/27/2019
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;58277]1938
The House Committee on Un-American Activities begins its work of searching for subversives in the United States.

I'm thinking it's time to dust that one off and take it for a spin again.
18.) Swamp Fox - 05/29/2019
It couldn't hurt ...


And how 'bout that Bart Starr guy?

19.) Swamp Fox - 06/21/2019
Okay, I give up ...

But how 'bout today? :


The Peace of Breda ends the Second Anglo-Dutch War as the Dutch cede New Amsterdam to the English.

The French royal family is arrested in Varennes.

Union and Confederate forces skirmish at the Chickahominy Creek.

In the second day of fighting, Confederate troops fail to dislodge a Union force at the Battle of LaFourche Crossing.

Britain celebrates the golden jubilee of Queen Victoria.

General Douglas MacArthur offers amnesty to Filipinos rebelling against American rule.

Mulai Hafid again proclaims himself the true sultan of Morocco.

Porforio Diaz, the ex-president of Mexico, exiles himself to Paris.

Germany uses poison gas for the first time in warfare in the Argonne Forest.

Germans scuttle their own fleet at Scapa Flow, Scotland.

Baseball legend Lou Gehrig is forced to quit baseball because of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis--a disease which wastes muscles.

German General Erwin Rommel captures the port city of Tobruk in North Africa.

Japanese forces on Okinawa surrender to American troops.

Dr. Peter Goldmark demonstrates his "long-playing" record.

A federal judge allows Little Rock, Arkansas to delay school integration.

France announces it will withdraw from the NATO fleet in the North Atlantic.

Three civil rights workers disappear in Meridian, Mississippi.

John Hinckley Jr. is found not guilty by reason of insanity for attempting to assassinate President Ronald Reagan.

The U.S. Senate votes against the nomination of Dr. Henry W. Foster for Surgeon General.

It all makes sense when you put it in perspective ... :wink
20.) DParker - 06/22/2019
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;58446]1942
German General Erwin Rommel captures the port city of Tobruk in North Africa.[/QUOTE]

Magnificent bastard. Have you read his book?
21.) Swamp Fox - 06/22/2019
I read an excerpt of something a long time ago ... I can't swear it was by him.

I don't imagine he had a lot of time to write post-1939 ...

An interesting guy.
22.) DParker - 06/22/2019
After all these years, I finally managed to sneak one past you.

23.) Swamp Fox - 06/22/2019
LOL ...

24.) DParker - 06/22/2019
A man that eloquent has to be saved.
25.) Swamp Fox - 06/22/2019
+5 ...

You're the master ... :applause:


26.) Swamp Fox - 06/22/2019
This thread is classic BowCountry, but on a higher plane ...

27.) DParker - 06/22/2019
Well...you know....

28.) DParker - 06/27/2019
Yep...a national celebration of armed citizens winning independence from a tyrannical government seems like just the right occasion to demand restrictions on private ownership of firearms.

29.) bluecat - 06/28/2019
I bet they wouldn't have a problem if you defended yourself with an aborted fetus.
30.) Swamp Fox - 07/01/2019
Loudoun County has been a silly place ever since the Federals moved in and burned everything ...

31.) Swamp Fox - 07/02/2019
"Excuse me, Ma'am .. We're here to burn your barn and slaughter your livestock ..."


32.) Swamp Fox - 07/02/2019
July 1

England and Scotland sign the Peace of Greenwich.

Napoleon Bonaparte takes Alexandria, Egypt.

Charles Darwin presents a paper on his theory of evolution to the Linnean Society in London.

Union artillery stops a Confederate attack at Malvern Hill, Virginia.

In the first day's fighting at Gettysburg, Federal forces retreat through the town and dig in at Cemetery Ridge and Cemetery Hill.

American troops take San Juan Hill and El Caney, Cuba, from the Spaniards.

The Battle of the Somme begins. Approximately 30,000 men are killed on the first day, two-thirds of them British.

Axis troops capture Sevastopol, Crimea, in the Soviet Union.

American ground troops arrive in South Korea to halt the advancing North Korean army.

British troops land in Kuwait to aid against Iraqi threats.

The U.S. postmaster introduces the ZIP code.

33.) Swamp Fox - 07/02/2019
July 2

An army under Albert of Austria defeats forces led by Adolf of Nassau.

Oliver Cromwell crushes the Royalists at the Battle of Marston Moor.

The Continental Congress resolves with the Declaration of Independence that the American colonies "are, and of right ought to be, free and independent States."

Denmark Vesey is executed in Charleston, South Carolina, for planning a massive slave revolt.

Czar Alexander II frees the serfs working on imperial lands.

The Union left flank holds at Little Round Top during the Battle of Gettysburg.

Charles J. Guiteau fatally wounds President James A. Garfield in Washington, D.C.

American aviation pioneer Amelia Earhart disappears in the Central Pacific during an attempt to fly around the world.

Novelist Ernest Hemingway commits suicide at his home in Ketchum, Idaho.

The U.S. launches Operation Buffalo in Vietnam.

North and South Vietnam are officially reunified.[/QUOTE]
34.) DParker - 07/02/2019
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;58517]1976
North and South Vietnam are officially reunified.[/QUOTE]

That is lie of imperialist stooge dogs!

35.) Swamp Fox - 07/02/2019
LOL ... How does that woman keep getting elected?

The only thing better would be if there was video of someone rushing up to the microphone and whispering in her ear ...
36.) DParker - 07/02/2019
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;58519]LOL ... How does that woman keep getting elected?[/QUOTE]

Her district map:

37.) DParker - 07/02/2019
Florida says, "Hold my beer..."

[URL="https://mobile.twitter.com/RealSaavedra/status/1146143587811258370"]Twitter: Democrat Rep. Frederica Wilson (FL) says that people who are “making fun of members of Congress” online “should be prosecuted”[/URL]
38.) Swamp Fox - 07/02/2019
[QUOTE=DParker;58521]Her district map:


Why is that frog with the fantasy axe bound to his leg harassing that lizard, and why doesn't the lizard just lie back and enjoy it?
39.) Swamp Fox - 07/02/2019
[QUOTE=DParker;58522]Florida says, "Hold my beer..."

[URL="https://mobile.twitter.com/RealSaavedra/status/1146143587811258370"]Twitter: Democrat Rep. Frederica Wilson (FL) says that people who are “making fun of members of Congress” online “should be prosecuted”[/URL][/QUOTE]

I've said on here before that those two are loons in a pod ... LOL

Where's what's-her-name from Georgia, though? She's missing the cookout ...
40.) Swamp Fox - 07/04/2019
July 3

George Washington takes command of the Continental Army.

In Paris, the Marquis de Condorcet proposes granting civil rights to women.

Confederate forces attack the center of the Union line at Gettysburg, but fail to break it.

John Wise flies the first deplorable in Lancaster, Pennsylvania.

The Wild Bunch, led by Butch Cassidy, commits its last American robbery near Wagner, Montana, taking $65,000 from a Great Northern train.

The first cable across the Pacific Ocean is spliced between Honolulu, Midway, Guam and Manila.

The U.S. First Army opens a general offensive to break out of the hedgerow area of Normandy, France.

Food rationing ends in Great Britain almost nine years after the end of World War II.

Jackie Robinson becomes the first African American to be inducted into the National Baseball Hall of Fame.


Most of this is true ... :grin:
41.) Swamp Fox - 07/04/2019
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;58523]Why is that frog with the fantasy axe bound to his leg harassing that lizard, and why doesn't the lizard just lie back and enjoy it?[/QUOTE]

It might be a horny toad ...
42.) Swamp Fox - 07/04/2019
July 4

12 slaves are executed for starting an uprising in New York that killed nine whites.

The amended Declaration of Independence, prepared by Thomas Jefferson, is approved and signed by John Hancock--President of the Continental Congress--and Charles Thomson, Congress secretary. The state of New York abstains from signing.

Construction begins on the Erie Canal, to connect Lake Erie and the Hudson River.

Two of America's founding fathers--Thomas Jefferson and John Adams--die.

The fifth president of the United States, James Monroe, dies at the age of 73.

Walt Whitman publishes the first edition of Leaves of Grass at his own expense.

Union and Confederate forces skirmish at Harpers Ferry.

Charles Dodgson first tells the story of Alice's adventures down the rabbit hole during a picnic along the Thames.

The Confederate town of Vicksburg, Mississippi, surrenders to General Ulysses S. Grant.

Billy the Kid is shot dead in New Mexico.

The poem America the Beautiful is first published.

Race riots break out all over the United States after African American Jack Johnson knocks out Jim Jeffries in a heavyweight boxing match.

Novelist James Joyce and Nora Barnacle are married in London after being together for 26 years.

Boxer Joe Louis wins his first professional fight.

An Israeli raid at Entebbe airport in Uganda rescues 105 hostages.[/QUOTE]