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1.) Go Bucks - 06/06/2013
Being in the restaurant service business, I am a bit sensitive to stupidity. Something really drives me nuts and for some stupid reason, even the best restaurants sometimes do it now....

There was a time when as you are enjoying a meal, the server or manager pops by and asks, "How is everything?" or "Would you like anything?" or "What else can we get for you?" These are all nice innocuous questions leading to the notion of good service and a nice dining experience. Now the most stupid question of all comes out of these idiots mouths... "How does everything taste?" What a friggin stupid question!! Why in the he77 are you bothering me for such an idiotic question???? Man it drives me nuts. I would fire anyone who asked it.

OK. Now I am thinking about something stupid like the taste and not the overall experience of service, atmosphere, etc.. of which taste is only a part. Why are they now asking this? Is this the new, self aggrandizing, cute, and feel-good crappola coming out of culinary school? Is the chef only concerned about how his stuff tastes and is so weak he needs to have his ego stroked? Will the server go back and say, "your food tastes so good and we are so lucky nothing else matters?" One of these times I will unleash on them...

"Well, I hadn't considered 'taste' and now that you make me pinpoint one certain thing, and now think about it in detail, the 'taste' is maybe so-so. In fact, the drinks are kinda weak, but what should I expect for a house wine. By the way, you should take more pride in anything you call 'house' since isn't that representative of your business? Why weaken your brand with something so cheap coming out of a box? The appetizer was a bit overcooked and I cant believe you charge so much for 3 small bites. Next time I will bring my own bag of Fritos. The steaks were OK, but maybe trim some fat and definitely go lighter on the sea salt next time like they do at Ponderosa. I highly doubt I will now order dessert since that will undoubtedly come out of a Sam's Club box and subject to roach infestation. Up until this point, I was really enjoying being here but now I doubt I will ever come back. Where is your manager??? No forget it... I will just leave a crappy tip since you are the one stupid enough to ask such a monumentally stupid question about 'taste.'"
2.) luv2bowhunt - 06/06/2013
But I WANT it to taste good. Shouldn't it taste good or should I just not be thinking about it tasting good?

Strawberries taste good.
3.) Swamp Fox - 06/06/2013
LOL...

Or you could just say, "Tastes like chicken..."

Not only do you shake up the wait staff and the management that way, but you scar the people back in the kitchen, too.

:wink
4.) Go Bucks - 06/06/2013
Maybe... "I dunno how it tastes. One of the primary symptoms leading to an unpredictable violent multiple personality rampage is my taste buds stop working."
5.) DParker - 06/06/2013
I'm going to give your rant an 8 out of a possible 10...primarily because there just weren't enough personal insults, nor even a bit of vulgarity (granted, you're constrained by the rules of the forum, but my rating system is pretty rigid in this area...sorry). All-in-all, a respectable score.

Personally, I dislike the whole trend of the manager making the rounds to all of the tables for these chats to begin with, no matter what they're asking. First off, it's gratuitous and serves no real purpose. If there's a problem I'll let you or someone else on your staff know about it. And those who are too timid to do that are likely to just respond, "Everything's great" to the faux display of concern anyway. Secondly, it's just plain disruptive and annoying. I'm not in your establishment to chit-chat with you or anyone else I don't know from Adam. I'm there to enjoy a meal with whomever accompanied me there. I want my server to stop by occasionally to refill drinks and briefly inquire if there's anything else we need...and then bring us the check in a timely fashion. That's it.

I realize that the intentions are all good (an attempt to improve service and give the customer the illusion that you really give a damn), so I don't get bent out of shape over it. But I think there are better ways to accomplish that other than needlessly injecting yourself into the table conversation unsolicited.

And don't even get me started on the casual familiarity with which customers are addressed in restaurants anymore. I'm not expecting "Madame et Monsieur" (unless the staff is actually French)....but I think "You guys" takes it a bit too far in the other direction.
6.) Swamp Fox - 06/06/2013
Well, I agree with most of what you say, but personally "Hi, I'm Mandy and I'll be your server tonight" while she scoots her cute little butt into the booth with me to take my order is a big favorite of mine.


:wink :grin:
7.) DParker - 06/06/2013
Normally I'd agree. But that's not nearly as fun when your wife is sitting across the table from you. It not only leads to an uncomfortable meal, but the ride home becomes [I]really[/I] long.
8.) Swamp Fox - 06/06/2013
We all have a cross to bear...Fortunately, that's not one of mine, LOL.
9.) DParker - 06/06/2013
Coincidentally, that's how I introduce her at parties.
10.) Swamp Fox - 06/06/2013
:p


:dig:
11.) Go Bucks - 06/06/2013
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;6529]We all have a cross to bear...Fortunately, that's not one of mine, LOL.[/QUOTE]

ahhhhhh. until now. next time you are eating out and they ask, you will now take serious notice and start thinking about it. you are ruined.
12.) Go Bucks - 06/06/2013
[QUOTE=DParker;6528]Normally I'd agree. But that's not nearly as fun when your wife is sitting across the table from you. It not only leads to an uncomfortable meal, but the ride home becomes [I]really[/I] long.[/QUOTE]

holey moley yes! even when the service really sux and if she has to send food back three times, I get "the look" if I bring it up. she is in fear of eating out with me
13.) Go Bucks - 06/06/2013
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;6527]Well, I agree with most of what you say, but personally "Hi, I'm Mandy and I'll be your server tonight" while she scoots her cute little butt into the booth with me to take my order is a big favorite of mine.


:wink :grin:[/QUOTE]

since when is Kinny called "mandy" and when did he start wearing tight skirts?
14.) Swamp Fox - 06/06/2013
Hey, let's keep the personal questions in the PM area. :ach:
15.) bluecat - 06/06/2013
I always like it when they clap and sing "Happy Birthday". It feels really special.
16.) Go Bucks - 06/06/2013
[QUOTE=bluecat;6537]I always like it when they clap and sing "Happy Birthday". It feels really special.[/QUOTE]

pet peeve #2: outside of kids... they don't want to sing it, nobody in the restaurant wants to hear it, and I don't want my birthday recognized. it comes back to... just leave me alone and don't ask stupid questions.
17.) luv2bowhunt - 06/06/2013
Normally, I hop up and sing along with the workers. Also at Texas Roadhouse, I hop up and do the line dance, or whatever it is that dance is they're doing there.

"Would you like to check those steaks to see if they're prepared the way you like?" -- No, I'll save that suspense for later when I'm done with the salad you brought me 2 minutes ago. Don't worry. If it's not the way I like it, you'll be the first to know.
18.) Swamp Fox - 06/06/2013
Waiter: "How did you find your steak, sir?"

Diner: "Well, I turned over a piece of mushroom and there it was!"
19.) DParker - 06/06/2013
While we're at it.....I really hate the term "foodie".

"I like food. I can't believe you like food too. We should hang out."

20.) luv2bowhunt - 06/06/2013
If a sandwich comes with fries, my wife will always ask to swap it with a side salad. Normal response is, "well there will be a $1.00 upcharge for that."

OK deal breaker for me. I was prepared to spend 42.00 on the meal, but 43.00 is just too much.

Just shut up and bring her the stupid salad. If I was penny pinching I wouldn't be sitting here.
21.) DParker - 06/06/2013
That reminds me of the episode of [I]That '70s Show[/I] where Red and Kitty go out to eat at what used to be one of their favorite places, but which burned down and was replaced by one of the first of what has become the standard Bennigan's/TGIFriday's/Chotchkey's (more flair!) kind of crappy chain "perky" joints that we're accustomed to now. The money scene is when Kitty orders a side salad and the waiter points her to the newfangled "salad bar". Red's reaction to his wife being told she has to get up and go get her own salad...in a restaurant...is priceless.
22.) bluecat - 06/06/2013
From Seinfeld

It will be the greatest meal of our lives.
Then after the meal, you know,you got the pants open, you got the napkins destroyed, cigarette butt in the mashed potatoes.
Then the check comes at that moment.
People are always upset, you know.
They're mystified by the check.
What is this?
How could this be?
They start passing it around the table.
Does this look right to you?
We're not hungry now.
Why are we buying all this food?
23.) Swamp Fox - 06/06/2013
[QUOTE=DParker;6541]While we're at it.....I really hate the term "foodie".

"I like food. I can't believe you like food too. We should hang out."

[/QUOTE]

Ha! I agree. Freakin' yuppie scum...:p
You know they came up with that.

Here's a weird one: You might have seen it if you've read any outdoor magazines lately. Maybe it's even on TV.

It's a Sportsman Channel ad featuring Pigman (who I can tolerate) from the show of the same name, Steven Rinella (who I like) from [I]Meateater[/I], the guy from [I]Dead Meat[/I] (which I only watched once and never returned, for reasons of boredom), [I]Dead Dog Walkin'[/I] (which is REALLY boring) [I]Top Outdoor Producers [/I](which I have no informed comment on) and [I]Canada in the Rough[/I] (whose host doesn't appear to have begun shaving yet).


The ad proclaims them to be "[B]Rebels[/B] with a Cause...They Are Renegades, [B]Foodies[/B] and Pig Whackers Who Refuse To Deliver The Same Old Hunting Shows."

WTF? I want to know what suburban housewife working part-time at what ad agency came up with that nonsense?

I mean, if I went around sayin' I was an emperor just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
24.) Go Bucks - 06/06/2013
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;6548]I mean, if I went around sayin' I was an emperor just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away![/QUOTE]

WHAT? is there an American English translation to that?
25.) DParker - 06/06/2013
Help! Help! I'm bein' repressed!

OK, I couldn't find video for the [I]That '70s Show[/I] scene, but I did find it in script form. The place is called "Blannigans" with a waiter named "Guy":


[INDENT][B]Guy:[/B] Hello, Iím Guy and Iíll be your waiter. Would either of you like to help yourself to our Blannigantastic salad bar?

[B]Kitty:[/B] Whatís a salad bar?

[B]Guy:[/B] Oh, itís right over there! All the salad fixings, and you make you own Blannigantastic salad!

[B]Red:[/B] You mean my wife has to make her own salad?

[B]Guy:[/B] Itíll be worth the trip!

[B]Red:[/B] Youíre kidding, right?

[B]Kitty:[/B] Red!

[B]Red:[/B] No, no, no, Kitty, itís okay. Now, Guy, my wife didnít get all dressed up for a special night out so that she could make her own salad. See, she could do that at home. For free!

[B]Guy:[/B] But she wouldnít have eight Blannigantastic dressings to choose from at home! Would she?

[B]Red:[/B] Are you being a wiseacker?

[B]Kitty:[/B] Red, honey, honey, your neck vein! Itís poking out!

[B]Guy:[/B] Sir, I canít bring you your salad or Iíll get in trouble!

[B]Red:[/B] What the hell kinda restaurant is this? You got eight people singing happy birthday, and nobody can bring my wife a damn salad?

[B]Kitty:[/B] Red, honey, neck vein, neck vein!

[B]Red:[/B] Come on, Kitty! Let's get outta here! (They pass a group of waiters singing happy birthday.) Oh, screw your freaking birthday! [/INDENT]

It really touches all the bases. :-)
26.) Swamp Fox - 06/06/2013
LOL, GB...Not that can be posted where the kiddies can see.
27.) DParker - 06/06/2013
[QUOTE=Go Bucks;6550]WHAT? is there an American English translation to that?[/QUOTE]

No. But it is available with subtitles...

[video=youtube;dOOTKA0aGI0]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOOTKA0aGI0[/video]
28.) Swamp Fox - 06/06/2013
LOL...That never gets old...:-):beer:
29.) Swamp Fox - 06/06/2013
[QUOTE=bluecat;6537]I always like it when they clap and sing "Happy Birthday". It feels really special.[/QUOTE]


I've never been to a restaurant where they have jousting or sword fighting, or even pistol duels, but I want to go.

:grin:
30.) DParker - 06/06/2013
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;6558]I've never been to a restaurant where they have jousting or sword fighting, or even pistol duels, but I want to go.

:grin:[/QUOTE]

The next time you're in Dallas let me know and I'll take you here: [URL="http://www.medievaltimes.com/dallas.aspx"]http://www.medievaltimes.com/dallas.aspx[/URL]

If you behave yourself we can go for ice cream afterward.

EDIT: I haven't been there for probably 15 years, since the last time I took my kids....so I just clicked on the "Rates" link. $58.95 / adult. Maybe we'll just skip it and go right for the ice cream....or walk across the street to a strip club.
31.) Swamp Fox - 06/06/2013
LOL...At least at a strip club, we wouldn't be throwing your money away...

:-)
32.) DParker - 06/06/2013
"I spent most of my money on booze and loose women. The rest I just wasted."