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1.) DParker - 06/30/2015
We all know that I take my gumbo-making seriously...almost as seriously as making chili. But I had to hang my head in shame upon learning that my own pursuit of soupy perfection just can't hold a candle to the dedication demonstrated by these guys.

[url]http://www.tallahassee.com/story/news/2015/06/27/man-who-depicted-chief-osceola-at-fsu-killed-in-gumbo-spices-argument/29398597/[/url]

I guess I really have no choice now. Swampy...fill your hands, you roux-burning SOB!
2.) Swamp Fox - 06/30/2015
This proves a number of things...I will list them as they occur to me...

This might take several days...

First, never trust anyone named Orlando. Abba had a fun song called [I]Fernando[/I] in 1976 or so, but number one, you had to be there, and number two, that's completely different from Orlando....

Second, there's a reason restaurant people get along so well with circus folk...

Third, things like knife fights between Cajun and Creole are what make this country great, no matter what Obama says about it...
3.) Swamp Fox - 06/30/2015
:grin::grin::grin::grin:
4.) Swamp Fox - 06/30/2015
More evidence that Frank Sinatra mostly sucked...



5.) DParker - 06/30/2015
Now you've done it. Don't come crying to me when you wake up tomorrow to find the Bronco's cylinder head laying at the foot of your bed and the sheets covered in 10W-30.
6.) Swamp Fox - 06/30/2015
LMAO!...I did say "mostly"... But I stand by it. Yeah, I'm talkin' to you. I got your horse head right here...[Grabbing motion] :wink:


I know it's 2 in the morning, but I can't believe nobody's playing music videos...

7.) bluecat - 06/30/2015
You guys need to hug it out, preferably with no kitchen implements. LOL!
8.) Swamp Fox - 06/30/2015
I've been thinking about this overnight---you might say I've been digesting the news---and I wonder what spice set everyone off?

Or could it be that the media has gotten it wrong, and it's not about a spice, but about something [I]spicy[/I], like magic dust or an aspiring actress/gumbo waitress named Bubbles? Maybe a love triangle with a former South Alabama Crawfish Queen? Hawaiian Tropic model?

Hmmmmmm...


I should probably continue to ponder this ...


9.) bluecat - 06/30/2015
Yes, we'll need lots more data to truly form some sort of hypothesis.
10.) Wild Bob - 06/30/2015
Wow...I hope you don't quite take your opinion of gumbo spices [I]that[/I] seriously Parker.

What a reason to die for. :re:

Now, Burnt Corn...that's another matter altogether...now there's a reason to kill for. :-)
11.) Hunter - 06/30/2015
hmmmmm..... my 1st thought was the 1st guy came to a knife fight with a wooden knife????????
12.) Swamp Fox - 06/30/2015
LOL...

I don't mean to stir the pot, but maybe Orlando caught him spooning with his girlfriend...
13.) bluecat - 06/30/2015
Or perhaps he was forking her too.
14.) bluecat - 06/30/2015
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;32843]I've been thinking about this overnight---you might say I've been digesting the news---and I wonder what spice set everyone off?

Or could it be that the media has gotten it wrong, and it's not about a spice, but about something [I]spicy[/I], like magic dust or an aspiring actress/gumbo waitress named Bubbles? Maybe a love triangle with a former South Alabama Crawfish Queen? Hawaiian Tropic model?

Hmmmmmm...


I should probably continue to ponder this ...


[/QUOTE]

Dairy Queens
15.) Swamp Fox - 06/30/2015
LOL...Bonus points for each of those...:wink

You gotta wonder, is it worse to bring a knife to a ladle fight, or a ladle to a knife fight?
16.) Swamp Fox - 06/30/2015
If this had been about BBQ, there would have been gunplay...

But that's a whole 'nother kettle of fish...
17.) Swamp Fox - 06/30/2015
All this started when Orlando told him to wok this way...The two men had totally different senses of humor...
18.) Swamp Fox - 06/30/2015
The guy tried to defend himself, but it was a case of too ladle, too late...
19.) bluecat - 06/30/2015
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;32854]The guy tried to defend himself, but it was a case of too ladle, too late...[/QUOTE]

+17.3
20.) bluecat - 06/30/2015
Both men were well-seasoned fighters in the art of kitchen gadgetry.
21.) Deerminator - 06/30/2015
Burnt corn---:laugh::laugh::laugh:
Toxo makes a very good chilly without beans.:tu:
22.) Swamp Fox - 06/30/2015
The men had to be treated at separate hospitals, because---you know--too many cooks spoil the stew.
23.) bluecat - 06/30/2015
They were warned to simmer down by their shift manager before it got violent.
24.) Wild Bob - 06/30/2015
:laugh:

You guys are killing me...and you're not even using kitchen tools.
25.) Swamp Fox - 06/30/2015
Orlando survived his wounds because he had a good team of doctors.

A trauma team might have saved the other guy, but he refused their assistance. He said he wanted to stick with Dr. Vinnie Boombatz, because he'd recently learned that--you know--too many cooks spoil the stew....
26.) Swamp Fox - 06/30/2015
[QUOTE=bluecat;32861]They were warned to simmer down by their shift manager before it got violent.[/QUOTE]

:grin:
27.) Swamp Fox - 06/30/2015
His mother regrets not making it to the hospital in time to say "Goodbye, Joe" but she had to pole the pirogue down the bayou...


It's a long trip that way...
28.) bluecat - 06/30/2015
The trauma surgeon trying to gain the admiration of several of the nurses made the ill-advised comment that the way to a man's heart can also be through his torso.
29.) Swamp Fox - 06/30/2015
Musical Interlude to give everyone a chance to catch up and check the rice...



30.) bluecat - 06/30/2015
The reporter covering the story indicated that the argument between the two men was a clear case of the pot calling the kettle black.
31.) bluecat - 06/30/2015
The patrons interviewed on the scene said there had been some pretty salty language shouted back and forth between the two spice nazis.
32.) bluecat - 06/30/2015
Several of the liberal students pontificating nearby quickly pointed out that we need stronger pepper spray laws. Then they went back to sucking on their chai teas, checking vitally important texts and snubbing their noses at small business, blue collar workers, police and ugly people.
33.) bluecat - 06/30/2015
Al Sharpton quickly showed up but was whisked away by his handlers when the crowd couldn't take the overwhelming smell of Hai Karate.

He mumbled something about snow peas before he left.
34.) Swamp Fox - 06/30/2015
Ironically, Alanis Morisette is teaming with Salt-N-Pepa to do a benefit concert for Joe's family...
35.) DParker - 06/30/2015
Things can definitely become heated when spices are involved.

Undt he vill roux ze day he vus born a gumbo chef.

36.) Swamp Fox - 06/30/2015
LOL...



"Too much cayenne, a lil Baton Rouge, got him excited, left him feeling confused..."


37.) DParker - 07/01/2015
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;32852]If this had been about BBQ, there would have been gunplay...[/QUOTE]

That's big talk from a state that thinks mustard is a base for BBQ sauce. I'm just sayin'...
38.) Swamp Fox - 07/01/2015
Are you gonna admit that BBQ is strictly pork, or whistle Dixie?
39.) DParker - 07/01/2015
Billy might try to have me deported for this (but hopefully my zealous defense of proper chili has bought me enough credit to prevent that)...while I won't say that BBQ is [i]only[/i] pork, I will concede that the best BBQ is [i]usually[/i] made from pig parts. In fact my 2nd favorite place in the Metroplex is a Memphis-style joint.

But, one caveat...

"Burnt ends" from really good brisket smokehouses (like Lockhart's) blow the doors off even the best pork ribs.
40.) billy b - 07/01/2015
Agreed, I have started making burnt ends from the entire point, there's just something about those big bites of juicy beef.:wink
41.) bluecat - 07/01/2015
[QUOTE=bluecat;32871]Al Sharpton quickly showed up but was whisked away by his handlers when the crowd couldn't take the overwhelming smell of Hai Karate.

He mumbled something about snow peas before he left.[/QUOTE]

snow peas = no peace :wink
42.) Swamp Fox - 07/01/2015
Mmmm...meat...


Back when Joe was the FSU mascot, he had an idea for a BBQ joint, but it turns out people prefer smokehouse cooking to using a sweat lodge...
43.) Swamp Fox - 07/01/2015
[QUOTE=bluecat;32880]snow peas = no peace :wink[/QUOTE]


LOL...I thought it was a play on "snow" or "snowflake"....That is, slang for a white person.....and spme weird Kansas oriental stir-fry-inspired gumbo recipe...:wink


"No okra, sno' peas..."


:-)
44.) bluecat - 07/01/2015
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;32882]LOL...I thought it was a play on "snow" or "snowflake"....That is, slang for a white person.....and spme weird Kansas oriental stir-fry-inspired gumbo recipe...:wink


"No okra, sno' peas..."


:-)[/QUOTE]

I like it.

If there were stronger vegetable laws around, these sorts of things wouldn't happen of course - at least a 3-day waiting period on okra, Jeesh.
45.) Swamp Fox - 07/01/2015
One of the 57 states already has that---Okrahoma...
46.) bluecat - 07/01/2015
The ground breaking work that Oregon did with Oregano set a precedent for future dangerous food legislation.
47.) bluecat - 07/01/2015
'Snowflake' is really hitting below the belt. What happened to the good old days when I was just a 'cracka' or a 'honky'?


It's a good thing I 'trans-ed' so I don't have to worry about those things. :wink
48.) Swamp Fox - 07/01/2015
[QUOTE=bluecat;32885]The ground breaking work that Oregon did with Oregano set a precedent for future dangerous food legislation.[/QUOTE]



+4



.....
49.) bluecat - 07/01/2015
Too funny.


I heard about an instance on a tv talk show many years ago where the audience was given parsley to smoke when they thought they were given marijuana. Many of them got extremely high from it...

For some reason the Office clip reminded me of that.
50.) bluecat - 07/01/2015
[QUOTE=bluecat;32869]The patrons interviewed on the scene said there had been some pretty salty language shouted back and forth between the two spice nazis.[/QUOTE]

The cops peppered them with questions. Rosemary, the ginger-haired head waitress was able to recount the whole thing and provide sage advice.
51.) Swamp Fox - 07/01/2015
LOL...


If convicted, Orlando is facing hard thyme....
52.) Swamp Fox - 07/01/2015
(I've been saving that one...:wink)
53.) bluecat - 07/01/2015
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;32890]
If convicted, Orlando is facing hard thyme....[/QUOTE]

:grin: :tu:
54.) bluecat - 07/01/2015
Luckily, the cops did not have to use mace on the two dill weeds.
55.) Deerminator - 07/01/2015
:laugh:
56.) DParker - 07/01/2015
Only his mother loves him, but she could be chivin' too.
57.) Deerminator - 07/02/2015
:laugh::tu::pop:
58.) Swamp Fox - 07/02/2015
[QUOTE=bluecat;32893]Luckily, the cops did not have to use mace on the two dill weeds.[/QUOTE]


+18.7


:beer:
59.) bluecat - 07/02/2015
[QUOTE=DParker;32895]Only his mother loves him, but she could be chivin' too.[/QUOTE]

He had a face only a cardamom could love.
60.) Swamp Fox - 07/02/2015
Wow...I had to look that one up, LOL.


Turns out his mom is former Louisiana beauty queen and outdoor cooking contest judge Leann Perrins...
61.) bluecat - 07/02/2015
Cardamom is typically one of the ingredients in ready-made pickling spices and is used for various things, pickles, corned beef etc. Mustard Seed, Coriander Seed, Black Pepper, celery seed, bay leaf, cardamom. Couldn't tell you what it taste like though, I don't use it in my pickles as it is rather spendy if I recall.
62.) bluecat - 07/02/2015
Them boys really had some onions to start a fight like that.
63.) Swamp Fox - 07/02/2015
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;32899]


Turns out his mom is former Louisiana beauty queen and outdoor cooking contest judge Leann Perrins...[/QUOTE]



She met his father at a biker bar called Sweet Baby Rays when they were both quite young, but it didn't last long. After she became pregnant, it became clear he had just been using her until he found someone hotter.



64.) Swamp Fox - 07/02/2015
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;32882]...and spme weird Kansas oriental stir-fry-inspired gumbo recipe...:wink


"No okra, sno' peas..."


:-)[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=bluecat;32883]I like it.

If there were stronger vegetable laws around, these sorts of things wouldn't happen of course - at least a 3-day waiting period on okra, Jeesh.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;32884]One of the 57 states already has that---Okrahoma...[/QUOTE]



After the fight, Orlando tried to get away in an abandoned Chevloray...:wink

It was abandoned because it was a test model designed to operate on biofuel and wouldn't run. After the owner accidentally ran the tank dry and the gumbo joint said it couldn't spare any grease from its fryers, the driver abandoned the vehicle and walked home, arriving there much faster than he would have anyway, at least if he'd filled up with low-fat.

Orlando raced to the car after the fight but found it wouldn't start and was soon apprehended, proving once again that relying on high technology after a deadly fight over gumbo is a recipe for disaster.

The car maker is planning to start selling this model soon, piggybacking on the opening of the new Arnold Schwarzenegger movie. The vehicle will be called The Hydrogenator.
65.) bluecat - 07/02/2015
LOL!


The banana pepper seat is a nice touch.
66.) bluecat - 07/02/2015
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;32902]She met his father at a biker bar called Sweet Baby Rays when they were both quite young, but it didn't last long. After she became pregnant, it became clear he had just been using her until he found someone hotter.
[/QUOTE]

Well that and the fact that she had crabs.
67.) bluecat - 07/02/2015
She was originally attracted to his mussels and the fact that he had an old Bay horse which she loved to ride.
68.) Swamp Fox - 07/02/2015
LOL...

As it turns out, her son inherited his parents' good looks. He was beefy, but had a six pack. It was Joe, though, who really had the cutting board abs.
69.) bluecat - 07/02/2015
Just before the cereal troublemaker Orlando landed his first blow, he yelled "Seasons Greetings".
70.) Swamp Fox - 07/02/2015
[QUOTE=bluecat;32904]LOL!


The banana pepper seat is a nice touch.[/QUOTE]


:grin:


I had nearly that exact same bike, except mine had a sissy bar...


I'm secure enough that I can say that now after 40 years...LOL
71.) bluecat - 07/02/2015
Me too, LOL! It was horrible. That shifter wouldn't stay in place and I was perpetually in 3rd gear.
72.) Swamp Fox - 07/02/2015
Maybe you weren't yelling 'VROOM, VROOM" right....You're supposed to kinda ease up the gears, not just slam into them, LOL


I didn't have the problem. I rode the hell out of that thing, LOL...Took it over some sweet jumps...


:hb:
73.) bluecat - 07/02/2015
When the waiter mentioned blackened catfish as an option the customers gasped at the insensitivity and inhumanity and quickly denounced whitefish. :fire:
74.) bluecat - 07/02/2015
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;32911]Maybe you weren't yelling 'VROOM, VROOM" right....You're supposed to kinda ease up the gears, not just slam into them, LOL


I didn't have the problem. I rode the hell out of that thing, LOL...Took it over some sweet jumps...


:hb:[/QUOTE]

Yeah, well mine had a sparkle paint finish. It almost made up for the fact I couldn't start fast.
75.) bluecat - 07/02/2015
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;32907]
As it turns out, her son inherited his parents' good looks. He was beefy, but had a six pack. It was Joe, though, who really had the cutting board abs.[/QUOTE]

LOL!
76.) Swamp Fox - 07/02/2015
I know when I'm cooking, I don't see color...which is how my roux turns out the way it does...
77.) Swamp Fox - 07/02/2015
[QUOTE=bluecat;32913]Yeah, well mine had a sparkle paint finish. [/QUOTE]


Exactly!

This is too small a world...


Your mom wasn't in the Navy, was she? Live near any seaports? ---LOL
78.) bluecat - 07/02/2015
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;32915]I know when I'm cooking, I don't see color...which is how my roux turns out the way it does...[/QUOTE]

:grin:
79.) bluecat - 07/02/2015
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;32916]Exactly!

This is too small a world...


Your mom wasn't in the Navy, was she? Live near any seaports? ---LOL[/QUOTE]

Probably, God rest her soul. I know she always let me watch Dukes of Hazzard quite a bit which might explain why I'm a racist. :dig:
80.) Swamp Fox - 07/02/2015
If it comes up, I say I never watched the Dukes of Hazzard...I was watching Daisy Duke...

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. :wink


81.) Swamp Fox - 07/02/2015
I was in Bass Pro Shops a few days ago, and the number of girls who can't get away with Daisy Duke shorts but still try is kinda depressing...





But then again, every once in a while you hit the jackpot...:-)
82.) bluecat - 07/02/2015
Rosemary told the police everything she knew. Tara was absent from the questioning because of a shift change. When the police asked Rosemary where Tara was, one of the old timers sitting at the bar who rarely spoke said, "Tara gone"... :re:
83.) Swamp Fox - 07/02/2015
Boo...Hiss...:wink

Please turn yourself in to the Pun Police on the Third Floor of the Saffron Building. Ask for Mrs. Dash.
84.) bluecat - 07/06/2015
:grin: